I don't know about you, but this election I am voting for Kompressor. Not American? No problem! I will drive from Halifax to Florida and make sure I meet some Chad. ... Then I tell Chad: "KOMPRESSOR!!!!!" ... then I beat him with synth beats until... SUBMISSION!!!!!!! KOMPRESSOR WINS!!!!!
Why do I feel this way, you may well ask? You should not ask, because you know already: Kompressor is the candidate who accurately represents my (and your!!!) interests. For example:
Women's Issues: "For discount to these issues, you get subscription, ten dollars for one year. Seven hundred quick ways to make Kompressor president. Fifty six ways to give satisfaction to Kompressor. All advertisements with perfume are removed!"
Abortion: "Everyone must do this, a restaurant full of children is very difficult to eat in. It is loud and you do not eat."
Kompressor is also a maker of electronic music! Just when you think he cannot top himself, Kompressor tops himself! Here are some of his amazing musics for your astonish!!!!!
KOMPRESSOR WANTS TO GET WITH YOU.mp3
KOMPRESSOR DOES NOT DANCE.mp3
K IS FOR KOMPRESSOR.mp3
WE MUST DESTROY X10.mp3
VITAMINS ARE GOOD.mp3
All letters are less than K: K IS FOR KOMPRESSOR!!!!